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Part 1 - To Every Thing There Is A Season

As a middle-aged man - teetering treacherously on the brink of 50 - I'd suddenly found myself in that age group where one is surrounded by friends, acquaintances, and coworkers experiencing the initiatory loss of their parents.

Becoming a member of this unsolicited fraternity of grief, I would soon discover that no matter how much time one has to emotionally prepare for the death of a parent, it's never enough time. I would also discover that one can never wholly understand the loss of a parent, until one has gone through the experience.

Mom - First Love of Your Life
In particular... when it comes to your mother, whether you be man or woman, Mom was literally the first love of your infant life. Whether this first love affair went relatively well and you're someone who was fortunate enough to have had what D.W. Winnicott called a "good enough mother" or whether it went rather badly and your mother was too emotionally damaged to provide you with adequate healthy emotional nurturing - Mom was the first love of your life.

As such... there's always going to be a hole left in your heart when she passes on.

Ages and Stages
A few years previous, as an astrologer, I'd spent most of one particular summer especially worried about my aging mother’s health. Mom - who had been a "good enough mother" - had always been fiercely independent. But she was now getting up in years. For the first time I could no longer deny her slow but sure progression of becoming physically more feeble.

At that time, believing my father had died before I was born, the idea of losing my mother had always seemed doubly disturbing.

I hadn't been made aware of any particular new medical concerns, but during that summer my birth chart had shown certain strong indicators that seemed to mirror potential physical and/or emotional distress having to do with my mother.

King Solomon and the Astrological Zodiac

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace." From "Ecclesiastes (or the preacher)" Chapter 3:1-8 King James Version traditionally attributed to King Solomon

According to one tradition within the Hebrew faith, as contained in the "Midrash Kohelet," King Solomon was considered to be a great and accomplished astrologer; and - in this all too familiar excerpt from the "Book of Ecclesiastes" - it is believed that he was making a direct referral to the cycles of life contained within the Zodiacal wheel of astrology.

In the apocryphal "The Wisdom of Solomon," Chapter 7:17-19, Solomon says:

"For He, [God] hath given me certain knowledge of the things which are, namely to know how the world was made, and the operation of the elements: the beginning, ending, and midst of the times: the alterations and turning of the Sun, and the change of the seasons: the circuits of years, and the position of stars."

The Cycles and Seasons of Life and Death
While there is differing of opinion among astrologers on the subject of death in the birth chart, I have found that the unconscious psyche (soul) doesn’t appear to recognize the physical death of the body as an ending of life.

"It is in fact true, as [Carl] Jung has emphasized, that the unconscious psyche pays very little attention to the abrupt end of bodily life and behaves as if the psychic life of the individual, that is, the individuation process, will simply continue.

In this connection, however, there are also dreams which symbolically indicate the end of bodily life and the explicit continuation of psychic life after death. The unconscious "believes" quite obviously in life after death." Marie-Louise von Franz excerpt from "On Dreams & Death"

As such, the death of an individual is often easier found in the charts of loved ones left behind to deal with and grieve over this personal loss. So... at the point when this particularly suspicious configuration in my own chart had passed on its way with seemingly no significant event having taken place, I once again began breathing a little easier about my mother. I never mentioned my concerns to her.

It wasn’t until after my mother had been diagnosed with a fast spreading tumorous growth - that she shared something with me that I hadn’t known. It seems that during this one particular summer - she had been worried about dying.

What had never dawned on me was that during that particular summer she had reached the same age my grandmother (her mother) had been when she had died.

Lying there in her bed, my mother now calmly explained that while death had never completely left her mind... after that one summer passed, she too had once again begun breathing a little easier and had stopped being so concerned and focused about the possibility of impending death.

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