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Across A Crowded Room
The little known concept of Astrological Shared Affinities (where synastry and composites leave off)

Yep! It happens all the time… maybe it's at a party... a ball game... the grocery store or the post office… out of the corner of your eye you notice a certain someone across a crowded room… They've definitely caught your eye, and you're not quite sure why… and it feels strangely exhilarating and vaguely uncomfortable...

No Rhyme or Reason
There's no rhyme or reason, but there's definitely something "interesting" about that person… There's an undefinable quality that appears to draw you in and attract you to that person... and upon closer examination, you realize this felt "connection" somehow extends far beyond good looks or mere physical attraction...

So Familiar...
And while you're pretty sure you've never seen them before - they still seem so very, very familiar… and they seem so very attractive. Perhaps, no words are exchanged (since you're happily married and have four kids at home)… So you momentarily, silently muse: "What was it about that person?" And then you happily go on with your life.

Or perhaps (if you're not happily married with four kids at home), a conversation is somehow started... Perhaps the attraction instantly withers and wanes. And then you silently mutter to yourself, "Just what in the hell was that all about?" Or perhaps, a conversation is started... and then, whether you know it or not, you've just encountered someone who'll possibly take you on "the roller coaster ride of your life!"

It's A Family Affair
Popular author/marriage therapist, Harville Hendrix, chalks up this sort of instant attraction to an unconscious recognition of your childhood family issues in that other person. According to Hendrix, in all of our romantic entanglements as grown adults – we're simply continuing on with the working through of dysfunctional childhood issues we experienced growing up in our dysfunctional families. We've somehow unconsciously "recognized" all our "Mom and Dad stuff" cleverly disguised as a fascinating, alluring stranger.

For more years than I care to admit, I stubbornly refused to give any credence to Hendrix's theory of romantic attraction. (And I still don't buy it all.) But astrology and the concept of "shared affinities" at least partially confirm his theory.

And while the concept of "shared affinities" was not specifically what Dr Carl G Jung was referring to when concluding there was a case by case astrological connection between the individual needs (complexes) of one person and who that person ends up falling in love with... it nevertheless fits...

Shared Affinities
(Where Synastry Comparisons and Composites Leave Off)

Have you ever compared the charts of two romantic lovers – and, in the end, you were stymied, stumped and basically bewildered as to what the attraction between the two people might be? Then look for "shared" affinities in the birth chart. Shared affinities say: "Don't I Know You?" Shared affinities say: "We've been dealing with the same "stuff" all our lives…"

What's An Affinity?
Okay... Here's an example of an "affinity"... the Sun in Aquarius is similar in energy to the Sun in aspect to Uranus. Both of which are similar in energy to the Sun placed in the 11th house.

Extending it, they're also similar to Uranus in Leo and Uranus in the 5th house.

Some astrologers go as far as using the formula:

Sun in Aquarius =  Sun aspect Uranus = Sun in the 11th House = Uranus in Leo = Uranus in the 5th house.

While I don't take it quite that far - the energies (and resulting life task issues) are most definitely similar. And for simplicity sake – I'll be using this formula in subsequent examples.

You And Me Against the World
If two people share one of these affinities  (similar energies) – the "shared affinity" says that these two people have experienced and are working through some of the same core, life task issues. And that's the bond! Shared affinities shout out: "Hey! I know you! We've been dealing with the same "stuff" all our lives…"

Example of shared affinity:

Here's the Formula:
A. Sun in Aquarius =  Sun aspect Uranus = Sun in the 11th House = Uranus in Leo = Uranus in the 5th house

B. Moon in Aquarius = Moon aspect Uranus = Moon in the 11th House = Uranus in Cancer = Uranus in the 4th house

She He
A. Sun conjunct Uranus, Sun in the 11th house
A. Sun trine Uranus
B. Moon conjunct Uranus, Uranus in Cancer, Moon in the 11th house
B. Moon sextile Uranus, Uranus in Cancer

These two people are dealing with the same life task issues encircling the archetypal energy of Uranus and "independence, freedom, excitement."

Okay now… Would this "shared affinity thing" be a wee bit more convincing... if I further told you that every "life-changing She" this guy has been involved with - the "life-changing She" has had the Sun in aspect to Uranus (and most had their Moon in aspect to Uranus)?

Another example:
Sun in Virgo =  Sun aspect Mercury = Sun in the 6th House = Mercury in Leo = Mercury in the 5th house

She He
Sun in Virgo, Mercury in Leo Sun in the 6th house, Mercury in the 5th house

Exciting, but Tough Stuff
And while all shared affinities appear to have some validity in mutual attraction…. Shared affinities involving the Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars aspecting the transpersonal planets of Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto appear to be the most earth-moving, shattering, difficult, compulsive, transformative, and exciting affinities. (i.e. They have the old "Yee Haw," "Ooh baby, Ooh baby" effect!)

Sun Masculine Parent (Father)
Moon Feminine Parent (Mother)
Mars Masculine lover
Venus Feminine lover


Uranus independence, freedom, excitement
Neptune dependence, transcendental love, one with the cosmos
Pluto passion, desire, control

Final example:
Let's mix it up a little:

Here's the formula:
A. Sun in Scorpio = Sun aspect Pluto = Sun in the 8th House = Pluto in Leo = Pluto in the 5th house

B. Moon in Scorpio = Moon aspect Pluto = Moon in the 8th House = Pluto in Cancer = Pluto in (or conjunct) the 4th house

C. Venus in Scorpio = Venus aspect Pluto = Venus in the 8th House = Pluto in Taurus or Libra = Pluto in the 2nd or 7th house

D. Mercury in Scorpio = Mercury aspect Pluto = Mercury in the 3rd or 6th House = Pluto in Gemini or Virgo

E. Sun in Aquarius =  Sun aspect Uranus = Sun in the 11th House = Uranus in Leo = Uranus in the 5th house

She He
A. Scorpio Sun A. Scorpio Sun, Sun squared Pluto, Pluto in Leo
B. Moon in the 8th house B. Moon squared Pluto, Pluto conjuncting the 4th house (from the 3rd house)
C. Venus in 8th House, Pluto in the 7th house C. Venus in Scorpio
D. Mercury in Scorpio, Mercury sextile Pluto, Pluto in Virgo D. Mercury in Scorpio, Pluto in the 3rd House
E. Sun square Uranus, Uranus in Leo E. Sun trine Uranus

Three guesses on the dynamics and life tasks contained in this relationship? (And the first two guesses don't count...)

Well…. That's about it! Sorry, but I'm not going to lay down any hard and fast rules or formulas for you to follow (and don't bother emailing me for any further rules and/or regulations). Play with it. See what works (or doesn't work) for yourself….

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