Go HomeLove Menu  
Home | Astrology Menu | FAQs | StarryMart |  

Home > Astrology > Love Shack > Dumped

When Good Love Goes Bad
(So You've Been Dumped)

"For two personalities to meet is like mixing two different chemical substances: if there is any combination at all, both are transformed.”
The Practice of Psychotherapy. Carl G. Jung CW 16, p.71

"In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order." The Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious. Carl G. Jung CW 9 Part 1, p. 32

"Buy the ticket, take the ride." — Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

So you've been dumped? There's some good news... and there's some bad news...

I should mention that if you're reading this after being freshly dumped, then what follows isn't going to be of much comfort.

No Guarantees In Romantic Love!
First off... before getting to the good news/bad news... no astrologer (currently among the living or the dead), even when using the most "advanced" techniques, can provide guarantees that a relationship between two people will last and be loving... I only wish we could give such guarantees...

I can't begin to tell you how many readings I've performed, when after giving my very best and most inspired spiel about no guarantees and that romantic love is always by virtue of its intrinsic nature a 5th house risk and gamble of the heart, the client then goes on to ask: "But, Dr Z, will it work... will it last... is this finally 'the one?' "

Or... if the person has been freshly dumped, they ask: "Dr Z, why didn't it work... why didn't it last... will they ever come back to me?"

And when we're dumped there are distinctive physiological and chemical changes that place within the brain that make the experience feel so, so, so very painful. There are even changes that take place in brain that specifically explain why we so badly want to figure out and make sense of why things went badly. There are changes in the brain that specifically explain why we so badly want them back in our lives.

You know... 90% of us have been dumped at least once by someone that we were madly in love with. But then, by same token, 90% of us have likewise at least once dumped someone that we knew was madly in love with us. None of us has clean hands in this painful matter. Oh... the tortures of love!

On To The Good News/Bad News
The good news is that hidden somewhere underneath all of the emotional chaos, hurt, and anger you're feeling, there is an underlying meaning and purpose to all experiences in life.

The bad news is that despite our hopes of finding "a little happiness" - archetypal psychologist, James Hillman, author of the best selling book, The Soul Code, aptly reminds us that often the very last thing our soul seems to be intent on is happiness. Our soul is instead looking for growth that can - after time - eventually lead us toward a greater sense of wholeness and meaning.

What Do you Think This Is? A Holiday Inn?
Yep! There is an all too obvious "reality gap" - between hope and experience - that remains a hounding, howling opponent to our peaceful personal fantasies of "a little happiness."

"There are swamplands of the soul where nature, our nature, intends that we live a good part of the journey, and from whence many of the most meaningful moments of our lives will derive. It is in the swamplands where soul is fashioned and forged, where we encounter, not only, the gravitas of life - but its purpose, its dignity, and its deepest meaning." James Hollis, in Swamplands of the Soul

Nope... it's not at all what you wanted to hear... that soul (your soul) is most often fashioned and forged in the darkest and most desolate of places... but it's what you need to hear...

"In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order... we are caught and entangled in aimless experience... It is a moment of collapse... Only when all crutches and props are broken, and no cover from the rear offers even the slightest hope of security, does it become possible for us to experience an archetype that up till then had lain hidden... this is the archetype of meaning..." The Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious. Carl G. Jung CW 9 Part 1, p. 32

"One thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation. The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light." — The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

Apparently... when it comes to romantic love relationships... a good many of our souls appear to require more than our own fair share of fashioning and forging...

The Usual Suspects and Some of Their Basic Themes
If the relationship was significant in the development of soul, then the most typical transiting planetary suspects involved are going to be Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto.

Rule of Thumb: Most typically one (or more) of these planetary suspects is transiting (passing over) someone's Ascendant/Descendant or Midheaven/IC by conjunction, square, or quincunx.

  • Saturn - Limitations, restriction, discipline, or depression
  • Uranus - Surprise, shake up, or freedom
  • Neptune - Illusion, deception, or chaos
  • Pluto - Violation, betrayal, or power struggles

Note: These planetary themes should be viewed as only potent possibilities - and this rule of thumb is certainly not meant to be exhaustive in nature... at same time, if one has to resort to looking for a more obscure or esoteric planetary configuration - then it may be saying something about the nature and significance of the relationship.

More Good News/Bad News
The good news is that (as we've already seen) we encounter soul in the darkest, most difficult night.

The bad news is (just as there are no guarantees in romantic love...) there are no guarantees - when we encounter soul making moments - that we will emerge on the other side any wiser, more soulful, or more in touch with who we are.

When potentially encountering soul, we may refuse to look at and deal with our own darkness, choosing rather to conveniently demonize our ex-lovers... while refusing to take ownership over our own choices, and refusing to take any responsibility for the part we played...

Like it or not... feel good or not... that ex-lover - who we allowed to touch us - has now become an integral part of our soul's fabric, journey, and destiny... they (perhaps unbeknownst to them or in spite of them) played a crucial role in the shaping of our soul, and because of the ultimately painful encounter we are forever transformed and changed...

Now available at StarryMart: order the Cut To The Chase Relationship personal reading, Friends & Lovers Astrology Compatibility Report, and/or the Simpaticos Composite Report at Dr Z's StarryMart

back to the Love Shack