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Good Love Goes Bad
(So You've Been Dumped)
two personalities to meet is like mixing two different chemical
substances: if there is any combination at all, both are
The Practice of Psychotherapy. Carl G. Jung CW
all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order."
The Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious.
Carl G. Jung CW 9 Part 1, p. 32
the ticket, take the ride." — Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
you've been dumped? There's some good news... and there's
some bad news...
should mention that if you're reading this after being freshly
dumped, then what follows isn't going to be of much comfort.
Guarantees In Romantic Love!
First off... before getting to the good news/bad news...
no astrologer (currently among the living or the dead),
even when using the most "advanced" techniques,
can provide guarantees that a relationship between two people
will last and be loving... I only wish we could give such
can't begin to tell you how many readings I've performed,
when after giving my very best and most inspired spiel about
no guarantees and that romantic love is always by virtue of
its intrinsic nature a 5th house risk and gamble of the heart,
the client then goes on to ask: "But, Dr Z, will it work...
will it last... is this finally 'the one?' "
if the person has been freshly dumped, they ask: "Dr
Z, why didn't it work... why didn't it last... will they ever
come back to me?"
when we're dumped there are distinctive physiological and
chemical changes that place within the brain that make the
experience feel so, so, so very painful. There are even changes
that take place in brain that specifically explain why
we so badly want to figure out and make sense of why things
went badly. There are changes in the brain that specifically
explain why we so badly want them back in our lives.
know... 90% of us have been dumped at least once by someone
that we were madly in love with. But then, by same token,
90% of us have likewise at least once dumped someone that
we knew was madly in love with us. None of us has clean hands
in this painful matter. Oh... the tortures of love!
To The Good News/Bad News
The good news is that hidden somewhere underneath
all of the emotional chaos, hurt, and anger you're feeling,
there is an underlying meaning and purpose to all experiences
bad news is that despite our hopes of finding "a little
happiness" - archetypal psychologist, James Hillman,
author of the best selling book, The Soul Code, aptly
reminds us that often the very last thing our soul
seems to be intent on is happiness. Our soul is instead
looking for growth that can - after time - eventually lead
us toward a greater sense of wholeness and meaning.
Do you Think This Is? A Holiday Inn?
Yep! There is an all too obvious "reality gap" -
between hope and experience - that remains a hounding, howling
opponent to our peaceful personal fantasies of "a little
are swamplands of the soul where nature, our nature, intends
that we live a good part of the journey, and from whence
many of the most meaningful moments of our lives will derive.
It is in the swamplands where soul is fashioned and forged,
where we encounter, not only, the gravitas of life - but
its purpose, its dignity, and its deepest meaning."
James Hollis, in Swamplands of the Soul
it's not at all what you wanted to hear... that soul (your
soul) is most often fashioned and forged in the darkest and
most desolate of places... but it's what you need to hear...
all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order...
we are caught and entangled in aimless experience... It
is a moment of collapse... Only when all crutches and props
are broken, and no cover from the rear offers even the slightest
hope of security, does it become possible for us to experience
an archetype that up till then had lain hidden... this is
the archetype of meaning..." The Archetypes
and The Collective Unconscious. Carl G. Jung CW 9 Part
1, p. 32
thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the
abyss comes the voice of salvation. The black moment is
the moment when the real message of transformation is going
to come. At the darkest moment comes the light." —
The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell
when it comes to romantic love relationships... a good many
of our souls appear to require more than our own fair share
of fashioning and forging...
Usual Suspects and Some of Their Basic Themes
If the relationship was significant in the development of
soul, then the most typical transiting planetary suspects
involved are going to be Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto.
of Thumb: Most typically one (or more) of these planetary
suspects is transiting (passing over) someone's Ascendant/Descendant
or Midheaven/IC by conjunction, square, or quincunx.
- Limitations, restriction, discipline, or depression
- Surprise, shake up, or freedom
- Illusion, deception, or chaos
- Violation, betrayal, or power struggles
These planetary themes should be viewed as only potent possibilities
- and this rule of thumb is certainly not meant to be exhaustive
in nature... at same time, if one has to resort to looking
for a more obscure or esoteric planetary configuration - then
it may be saying something about the nature and significance
of the relationship.
Good News/Bad News
The good news is that (as we've already seen) we
encounter soul in the darkest, most difficult night.
bad news is (just as there are no guarantees in romantic love...)
there are no guarantees - when we encounter soul making moments
- that we will emerge on the other side any wiser, more soulful,
or more in touch with who we are.
potentially encountering soul, we may refuse to look at and
deal with our own darkness, choosing rather to conveniently
demonize our ex-lovers... while refusing to take ownership
over our own choices, and refusing to take any responsibility
for the part we played...
it or not... feel good or not... that ex-lover - who we allowed
to touch us - has now become an integral part of our soul's
fabric, journey, and destiny... they (perhaps unbeknownst
to them or in spite of them) played a crucial role in the
shaping of our soul, and because of the ultimately painful
encounter we are forever transformed and changed...
available at StarryMart: order the Cut
To The Chase Relationship
personal reading, Friends
& Lovers Astrology Compatibility Report, and/or the
Report at Dr Z's StarryMart
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