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5 Hard Truths About Romantic Love, Relationship, and Determining Astrological Compatibility

Uh oh... I feel at least a couple of dreaded (but necessary) Jupiter rising sermons coming on... sermons about romantic love, relationship, and the art of determining astrological compatibility!

I - Wherever You Go, There You Are!
Hard truth number one is that any astrologer performing a personal, face to face, reading on your astrological compatibility with another person knows that - when the rubber meets the road - much of “compatibility” is based on:

• Who in the heck are you?
• What destructive unconscious life myth(s) (scripts) are you living out?
• How hard are you to get along with?
• What sort of life and/or soul lessons are you on the planet to learn?
• What is it that you need in your life that's causing you to repeatedly unconsciously draw in and attract certain types of people?

All of the above adds up to who you are as an individual and not the other "magical" person...

II - Purpose of Relationship - Soul Growth

“The paradox of relationship will always be that rather than solve our problems it brings us new problems, new complexities. But we also grow immensely from these problems… these complexities. In short… the greatest gift of relationship proves to be that as the result of encountering each other we are obliged to grow much larger than we had planned.” What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life, James Hollis, PhD

“Seldom or never does a marriage develop into an individual relationship smoothly and without crisis. There is no birth of consciousness without pain.” C.G. Jung CW17:The Development of the Personality:331

Yep… that’s right, friends and neighbors… committed relationships are, in part, for the purpose of bumping of heads, and for the building of “consciousness” and "soul"...

Not too romantic, eh? Not too ooey gooey? Well… not always…

It's not much comfort in the short term, but regardless of how things (do or don’t) work out in the end… our soul is going to be enlarged from the experience of relationship with that other person.

Just so you don't get too bummed out, here's the (potential) good news:

"You see, the whole thing in marriage [committed partnership] is the relationship and yielding -- knowing the functions, knowing that each is playing a role in an organism. One of the things I have realized - and people who have been married [in committed relationship] a long time realize -- is that marriage [committed partnership] is not a love affair.

A love affair has to do with immediate personal satisfaction. But marriage [committed partnership] is an ordeal; it means yielding, time and again. That's why it's a sacrament: you give up your personal simplicity to participate in a relationship. And when you're giving, you're not giving to the other person: you're giving to the relationship. And if you realize that you are in the relationship just as the other person is, then it becomes life building, a life fostering and enriching experience, not an impoverishment because you're giving to somebody else.

This is the challenge of a marriage [committed partnership]. What a beautiful thing is a life together as growing personalities, each helping the other to flower, rather than just moving into the standard archetype. It’s a wonderful thing when people can make the decision to be something quite astonishing and unexpected, rather than cookie-mold products." Short excerpt from An Open Life: Joseph Campbell in Conversation with Michael Toms

III - Love is Risky Business
Hard Truth number three is perhaps the most important Hard Truth:

Love is risky business.

Love is risky business. And no astrologer on the planet can provide you with a blank check guarantee of success. Think about it for a second... if I were somehow clever enough to be the one astrologer on the planet that could provide a 100% (or even a 70-90%) guarantee regarding the ultimate “success” of a relationship (and that magical person will never leave you) - then I'd be charging the price of a medium sized country for my readings and people would be lining up in droves to pay the high price.

In astrology it was sometime during the European Renaissance that romantic love and love affairs of the heart came to be primarily associated with the astrological 5th house of gambling - associated with the excitement of the gamble, the risk, the pleasure, and the youthful, playful awakening of new and young love…

Thus astrology - as a wisened teacher - judiciously (much in vain) attempts to instruct us that regardless of the many "safety nets" we construct in order to "even up" the odds... romantic love and attraction will always remain a gamble, an emotional risk, and a leap of faith that we must choose to take (or not) when entrusting our heart to another person.

Weird Science
We often refer to "falling in love" as two people "having the right chemistry." And science has indeed now discovered and confirmed what we have long intuited.

We now know that "falling in love" involves a "chemical communication" caused by pheromones that we share with the rest of the animal kingdom. Biology further instructs us that this "falling in love" thing - along with its chemical communications and changes in the brain - at best, lasts only 12 to 18 months. After that, you're on your own.

Yep! Falling in love is definitely risky business. But, after everything is said and done... that's part of the joy, part of the torture, and part of the sheer intensity that makes the experience and risk of "falling in love" irresistible.

IV - Emotional Baggage – Damaged Goods
It's vitally important in every reading I perform to mention hard truth number four - that there are more than a few folks out there so very emotionally damaged (filled with anger and resentment) that they are literally incapable of maintaining and/or sustaining a loving soul bond relationship with you (or anyone else) that builds up and creates new life rather than tears down and destroys.

There are birth chart “markers” or “clues” of potential major emotional issues and/or baggage that the other person (or, for that matter, you) is dealing with in this lifetime.

However there is no way based simply on looking at the birth chart to determine or predict how successfully they (or you) have dealt with these issues in their (your) life.

My condolences if you have hooked up with one of these severely emotionally damaged individuals. It happens – and, when it happens, it would seem that all the soul bond connections in the world may not be able to overcome the damage and who they have become as an individual.

It’s painful when this happens. Trust me, I know… been there, done that…

V - Honest Astrology doesn't claim to have all the answers
As astrologer extraordinaire, Liz Greene has often been fond of pointing out, there appears to be an unknown “X factor” at play when it comes to matters of the heart.

"The heart has its own reasons that the mind cannot comprehend..."

Watch this fascinating Ted Talk video on the Brain in Love:

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