Go Homeback to Love Menu  
Home | Astrology Menu | FAQs | StarryMart |

Home > Astrology > Love Shack > Shadow Lover

You say that you're clueless about which Zodiac Sign is located on the cusp (beginning point) of your 7th House. If you know the exact time of your birth (i.e. 8:09 pm, 5:34 am, etc. ) - then get your birth chart calculated online and for free at Astrolabe (designers of the very best professional Windows astrology software).

"When an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate."
C.G. Jung Collected Works 9ii Paragraph 126

Shadow Lover
"You're So Not Me!"

Libra & the 7th House with affinities to Venus

On the wheel of the Zodiac horoscope - the sign of Libra (and the 7th House) is the first time that two individuals choose to come together for the purpose of committing themselves to a partnership.

In Libra, these are the partners whom we have chosen to be in our lives. So Libra, the 7th House, and Venus are about choices, balance, and weighing our options. Swiss Astrologer Gret Baumann-Jung (in her article "Some Reflections on the Horoscope of C.G. Jung") reminds us that the 7th house is likewise one of the places where we can find our shadow and the Shadow Lover.

What Is "The Shadow?"
In a nutshell, "The Shadow" contains those parts of ourselves we've chosen to "give away." We've chosen to give away these parts, because these parts didn't fit into our ego concept of "who we are" and/or "who we should be."

You see... while growing up - society, our friends, and our parents were constantly sending us messages regarding what they considered to be "acceptable" behavior and what they considered to be "unacceptable" behavior. As young pliable children, hungry for love and approval, we quickly learned how to adapt, "fit in," and please those around us. In order to do this, we had to hide away all our more "unacceptable" thoughts and behaviors.

As children, we forcibly stuffed all those nasty unacceptable thoughts and behaviors far away and down into our psychic basements. Driven deep underground, these "unacceptable" thoughts and behaviors eventually fell into the "so not me" Shadow. We mistakenly believed all those nasty unacceptable thoughts and behaviors were buried away and forgotten. We mistakenly thought they were in a place, where they'd never, ever bother us again. We were wrong!

The 7th House Shadow Lover
In the astrological birth chart - the cusp (a fancy word for "the beginning point") of the 7th house is also called the Descendant. The Descendant signifies The Other, The Beloved, the "you're so not me," and/or the Shadow Lover.

The 7th House reflects:

  • certain characteristics and qualities we've unconsciously chosen to value - but over the course of a lifetime, we've also unconsciously chosen to believe we don't have these valued qualities (and so they've "fallen into shadow"...)
  • and therefore, we unconsciously look for (and invariably find) these valued shadow qualities when choosing a partner or life mate.

And the main reason we feel these 7th house Shadow Lover qualities are so very attractive and magnetic within other people is:

Deep down we don't believe we have these valued characteristics. And the other person so seemingly, perfectly embodies the qualities for us. So we want, expect, and (yes) demand our lover(s) to "live out" these qualities for us.

Ooh Baby, Ooh Baby!
We want (and are internally programmed to expect) the beloved Shadow Lover to live out and provide all those attractive, magnetic qualities in our lives.
We become irrationally (unconsciously) overwhelmed with emotions, feelings, and desires that inform us that we need the qualities of the beloved Shadow Lover. We believe we need the beloved Shadow Lover in order to complete us.

In the astrological birth chart, the 7th House is traditionally associated with marriage, open opponents, and partnerships.
At first glance, it may seem contradictory to include both partnerships and open opponents in the same "class" of human experience. One reason why the 7th House reflects both partnerships and open opponents is that age old "love/hate" thing which so often happens when our intimate relationships start ripping apart at the seams.

You see... the "you're so not me" shadow energies of the 7th house often attract and repel at the same time. You know... you've been there and done that... When our intimate relationships start ripping apart at the seams - then the very same prince or princess, whom you once loved so completely and fervently, is now transformed into an ugly frog or witch that you despise just as completely and fervently...

The very same qualities and characteristics, which once made the person so incredibly attractive and lovable, are now the very same qualities and characteristics (dressed up in slightly different clothing) that repel and disgust you.

Here's a concrete example of how this works:

Positive Shadow: If your 7th House cusp is located in the sign of Aries - then your positive shadow lover characteristic might defined as the quality of "bravery." The warrior-like bravery of Aries is a quality you unconsciously admire (and are attracted to) in other people.

Negative Shadow: Surprise! Your 7th house negative Aries' shadow lover is also related to the quality of "bravery." However, this time around, you don't call it "bravery." More than likely, you call it something like foolhardiness, recklessness, being too brash and/or too headstrong.

>> Finding The Shadow Lover in the Birth Chart
Follow this link for concrete examples on how to find your 7th house "issues" in the birth chart.

Summing Up...

Rule of the Psyche 101:
In the birth chart: whatever we refuse to "live out" for ourselves, we will unconsciously behave and act in ways which force the people closest to us to "live it out" for us.

That statement deserves repeating:
In the birth chart: whatever we refuse to "live out" for ourselves, we will unconsciously behave and act in ways which force the people closest to us to "live it out" for us.

"When an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate."
C.G. Jung

Our Mission?

"The more we become conscious of our shadow's intentions and behavior, the less of a threat it is and the more psychologically substantial we become." Darryl Sharp

Our mission as adults (should we choose to accept our mission) is to begin redeeming and "living out" the energies of the 7th House Shadow for ourselves. That way we can begin the process of putting a stop to compulsively, continually meeting up with (in all the worst ways) our 7th House Shadow energies in the guise of our lovers.

Redeeming our Shadow Lover lets our mortal, flesh and blood lovers "off the hook" - and then allows us (and our lovers ) to be more fully, wholly who we (and they) are.


(back to the Love Menu)

Home > Astrology > Love Shack > Shadow Lover